Amazing Creature

You “fixed” my hair today

With a paintbrush

You were very focused

And kept telling me it was not done yet.

You strummed your guitar today

You told mama to dance

We jumped around like corn kernals being popped,

Laughing.

We got under the covers in mama’s bed today

“I want some covers too…” you said.

I covered you up in blankets and we snuggled

You put your cheek on my cheek.

I picked you up from school today

You ran to me at top speed with arms open wide

Smiling, tackling hugging

I whispered in your ear “I love you so much.”

I was resting today

You asked me if I was scared of the smoke detector, like you are

You asked me if I wanted you to cover it with tape

Like dada did for you.

You ran around the island tonight a million times

Every time you made it around

I tackled you

I hugged you

I kissed you.

Thank you. Thank you.

You amazing creature.

Sex Part II

The kids are asleep

The dishes are done

All I want is to rest

Do you really want some?

I have not showered in days

That’s baby poop under my nail

You really want all that?

Hashtag sexy wife fail.

What’s on Netflix?

Can we cuddle instead?

You can rub my back

While I snore in the bed.

I can give you a quick hand job

Would that do the trick?

I’ll just reach down your pants

Don’t worry, it will be quick.

Do I want a favor?

Yes, yes please!

A long hot shower and some sleep?

Oh honey, you’re such a tease.

I love you sweet man

Really I do

But sex sounds awful

Boo fucking hoo.

Toddler

You’re an asshole

I mean, really

If I had friends like you

I would not need enemies

Living with you is like waiting for a bomb to drop

…every minute

of every day

And it does, on my head.

You whine

You cry

You whine some more

And then you cry some more

You want what you want

And you must have it

Now

You are like a drug addict in need of a hit

Your hit is whatever whim crosses your undeveloped brain

You must have it

That car, that toy, your turn on the swing, your favorite song…

NOW.

There is no one minute from now

There is no future

Just NOW

You can't have that thing?

Cue bomb

I want to tell you to shut the eff up;

But that would not be very mom-like

If we were lovers, our relationship would be called an abusive one

With you the abuser

And me the person you loves you so much I cannot leave

All of this, every day

Like groundhog day, spinning out over and over

But babe

You just flipped the switch

And in this moment

You look up through your tears

And throw your little fat arms around me

And tell me you love me

Now MY heart is bursting with crazy love for you

And all is forgiven, you sweet little asshole.

Ode to the St. Clair Family Name

"So you are just not finding the name in your system?

Well did you try period with no space?

How about period with space?

No period and no space?

How about all run together?"

St. Clair...

Two words

And in them,

Everything I know to be true.

Including it’s a bastard to find in computer systems.

Here is what St. Clair means to me:

It’s blue eyes

And dark eyebrows

It’s curly hair and big lips

Basically, we are monkeys.

And very proud of that fact

It’s skin problems

And bad backs

And not so fun allergies.

But it’s also a cool last name to be used as a first name

“St. Clair, wake up and pass the ball.”

It’s having a French last name

“Saint Clair, are you French?”

And feeling awkward about not

Being able to say

Well 

Anything more about that.

It’s a passion for people

And appreciating the simple things

Like summers at the Cape

And board games and laughter

And each other

It’s my anchor when storms set in

And my lifeline when I am sinking.

Or need a lift

It’s the sun that keeps me moving along a

– somewhat – predictable orbit

It’s where I turn to remember who I am

And what is most important.

"What's in a name? That which we call a St. Clair

By any other name would smell as sweet?"

I think so

St. Clair is me

My childhood

What shaped me

And it will always be.

Hey Mr. DJ, were you always so selfish?

All my friends wanted was a night of dancing to great music, to lose ourselves to the beat of some old school early 90's (or perhaps late 80's) hits. Maybe some Michael Jackson, or his sis Janet. So we planned the evening, went to the dance club only to find....a selfish DJ. This poem is for my friend Tania, who was just as disappointed as I was that we did not get our dancing needs filled that evening....

Selfish DJ

Hey Mr. DJ, were you always so selfish?You hoarded your crayons as a Little Boy
Didn’t you.
Breaking them into a millions pieces…
So the girl in pigtails would cry.
Hey Mr. DJ, were you always so selfish?
Taking the car
To do..well nothing.
On the night your younger brother
Had his Big Date.
Hey Mr. DJ, were you always so selfish?
I think I saw you on the metro yesterday
Yellow shirt, khaki pants?
Yes.
It was You.
You Rushed to grab a seat
Before
The elderly woman could.
Hey Mr. DJ, were you always so selfish?
I look around in Wonder now
To see the only one dancing is You.
Your Hand....the only one in the air
Your sweat..the only sweat glistening
Your heart...the only one pumping
And I can't help but ask myself, Mr. DJ were you always this selfish

Delivering Happiness Applied Improv Style – A Pilot with Tony Hsieh

I was at the Grammy Museum in Los Angeles on Friday for a National Association of Women Business Owners event with over 250 people. This was a speaking event for author and CEO Tony Hsieh as part of his Delivering Happiness Bus Tour. Tony has presented at countless events – but I was about to “pilot” the use of applied improv at this one. I couldn’t help but ask myself (along with a pinch!), how did I get here?!

For those of you who do not know, Tony Hsieh is the CEO of Zappos.com, an online retail company and one of Fortune 100’s Top Companies to Work For 2009. He is also author of the #1 New York Bestseller list “Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose.” I read this book earlier this year and quickly became obsessed with the message. I may have even told friends and family that Tony was my soul mate (I mean, how could it not be so?!) The book focuses on the culture Tony built at Zappos: employees feel connected to their work and each other, they are encouraged to bring their authenticity into work, and their personal values match the company values (all of which leads to greater happiness). I quickly became Tony’s ambassador and talked nonstop about the book to…well, everyone. In fact, I may be responsible for most of Tony’s book sales in the Greater DC area.

When I heard Tony was speaking at an American Marketing Association event in Washington DC, I bought my ticket in 1.5 seconds. At the event, luckily I had a cough attack that placed me in a one-on-one hallway conversation with Jenn Lim, the Chief Happiness Officer of the Bus Tour (and quite an inspiring leader!) I had just returned from Amsterdam for the annual Applied Improvisation Network conference where my passion was ignited for using improv comedy techniques to foster creativity within organizations.

I talked to Jenn about the connection between applied improv and building a creative culture. Jenn could sense my excitement and suggested I talk to Tony about the idea. I did. Tony may have been more intrigued with my passion than the actual idea at this point but he suggested I attend the social events in DC to get to know the team. I proposed the idea of an applied improv “pilot” in LA to Tony and Jenn shortly following their DC trip. They agreed! Uh oh. I realized that my fear was not that they would say no, but that they would say yes. My new favorite quote came in handy here, “Feel the fear, and do it anyway!”

Nerves notwithstanding, the pilot was a success! I had two goals: create a sense of community in the room and inspire creativity. My not-so-scientific success measures: my inability to get people to sit down after the first “get to know you” activity (sense of community!) and the number of laughs during an activity where people on stage created a story together, one word at a time (creativity inspired!) Oh - and Tony’s fist bump following the event! With limited time, here is what I did:

Tell the Name of Your Story
A big part of Zappos culture is community (Core Value: Build a Positive Team and Family Spirit). Tony opens his home up to Zappos employees during Thanksgiving to promote this value. We are a community in this room today. Let’s get to know each other. Tell the story of your name to a partner. It can be your first, middle, last name, or a nickname. It can also be a nickname that never caught on that you wish would have (maybe Bubbles? Or Killer?) For those of you who are thinking, I don’t have a story here is a hint: Make it up. Tell your partner at the end so they can celebrate your creativity! I want you to stand when you do this. In terms of choosing your partner, look around and the person you lock eyes with is your partner (could be an opportunity to connect with that cutie who you saw walk in the room).

One Word at a Time Story
Another aspect of Zappos culture is creativity (Core Value: Be Adventurous, Creative and Open-Minded). How do we inspire creativity in ourselves and others? There is a concept used in improv comedy called “Accept Every Offer.” This concept does not mean agreement with the idea but it does mean that you hear, see and understand the offer AND you figure out a way to use it. There is a game used in improve called “One Word at a Time Story” where a group of people create a story, one word at a time. Each person must use the word provided by the person before them in order to create the next word. I need 5 volunteers. A couple reminders: keep the pace moving quickly as this is about reacting vs thinking and please provide 1 word (not 2 or 3). I need a word from the audience: What do you think of when you think of the Big Blue Happiness Bus? Debrief: What was the experience of being forced to use the word in front of you? How did this inspire creativity?

Tony poses an intriguing question during his presentations: “What would you be passionate about doing for 10 years even if you didn’t get paid a dime?” This is what you should be doing. Do you know your answer? I am pondering mine as I sit here in the killer delivering happiness T-shirt I have not taken off since the event.

My Time (A Poem for Summer Amin in Honor of Fall)

Step aside, it’s my time.

You had your time, Mr. African Wool Scarf
Some would say (OK, me) that you wore out your welcome
You lucked out though
You were out every day for months
“Snowmageddon” was your friend…your very best friend
And each day you would say to us “Jambo.”
I was convinced it meant FU
In some strange African language
I silently sent you death wishes..
And later learned it meant a friendly greeting in Swahili
Sorry about that…cultural misunderstanding.
Friends?

And no can deny your raw beauty Floral Silk Skirt.
But that high voice and energetic, positive spirit
It is enough to make me puke.
Did you invent the word chipper?
And who says “TOODALOO!” but you?
Every time you dash out for brunch
Or sit in Dupont Circle
It’s Chitty Chitty Chitty Chat the whole time
I know because I can hear you from this closet
You typically take Little Black Knit with you though
Which I appreciate;
You know how Knit can get so down
He brings us all down with him.
So thanks for that.
We have spent many Summer and Winters together Floral
But let’s face it..
When we are apart in Spring
It’s a really nice break.

And you Itty Bitty Black Bikini
Hi.
Remember that crazy night this Summer when we were paired together?
I never would have thought THAT would happen
ME….Tall, Brown Boots
And YOU…Itty Bitty Black Bikini
But it worked
And we looked good
I know you said it would never happen again
But you told me you like to lie (which is cool, I accept all of you)
So I hold out hope
That sort of passion needs to live another day
Anything else is just cruel

And now?
Well, I feel the breeze at night through the window
The air is cool
And Big Suzy Sweater left today
She always goes on right before me.
But what if I don’t have what it takes?
I am older now
I have scuffs and my zipper gives me trouble when it rains
While Classic
I can’t compete with new, trendy Motorcycle Boots
But I have to trust that what is meant to be will be
And I bring value, darn it
And my self-worth is NOT defined by the number of wears
You know what, all you old Classic Tall Brown Boots, rise up
Rise up I say!
And speak your truth
You are unique beings and don’t need anyone to tell you what you are worth!
Join me now in a chant that goes like….(trails off)
Oh thank God! I am being worn.
I knew I would be.
See you later suckers (mainly Motorcycle Boots)
It’s my time!